‘I thought you died.’
My dear readers, even I had the same assumption about my own existence. Keeping aside the the pessimistic undertone in this conversation for a while.(Until I return to it a few seconds later.)
‘Floating through the timelapse’-It is timelapse, isn’t it ?
The hour, days, months seems to evaporate like the way the birds mingle with the dying sun at the end of every day. I often feel like we are inside a camera frame, all the moments that we are living through in this quarantine period is almost a sham, a slow lull in the breast of this crazy rushing I don’t care sort of World.
In this world, many of us are cocooned into an innocuous existence, the news of conflict in Syria or Tsunami on the shores of some Asian country or people dying of hunger in some another part of the world do at times shivers us, we proceed to express a delirious “Sigh” and then wraps the blanket of comfort around us. When I was of a certain age, a question often popped up in my mind ‘Why do the world has so much sadness in it?’ as I gaze through the brightly lit white screen to the fatigued, wistful eyes of a girl aged 12 strolling her way past through the faded blue tents filled with people denied a home under the bleak sky ashen with bullets.
This locked up life has dismissed us of privileges that we believed we were incomplete without. Some human in another side of the globe is living without these privileges, yet peaceful life resides there.
As I write these, I notice a hummingbird gliding through the guava tree in our house, I pause a bit to look at the tranquility in the air, which is quite an Oscar worthy moment(it does not do away the fact that Oscars are overrated) considering how noisy the street beside my house is.
In an extremely forgetting lifestyle, we are bestowed with a dash of anxiety and a bucket of panic attack, so this opportunity to sit at one place and to stop for a monent was not something we could imagine of, it’s not a blessing, I am going to be unapologetically honest with you, at days I do want to have that door that Doraemon had, an escape from my own silence to a place I do not know of. Maybe all of our life had been at times an accumulation of escapism, escape from the place we born in, escape from the tormenting years of school, escape from the scorching insecurities, escape from failure.
Even the whole concept of escapism, the distorted idea of utopia, a land of dreams, is flawed.
This quarantine made me comprehend that the whole idea of running from myself is doomed for the very reason our world is a round reality, we run only to stumble upon our feet, every time.
” নদীর এপার কহে ছাড়িয়া নিশ্বাস, ওপারেতে সর্বসুখ আমার বিশ্বাস। নদীর ওপার বসি দীর্ঘশ্বাস ছাড়ে; কহে, যাহা কিছু সুখ সকলি ওপারে।”-Rabindranath Tagore.
Talking about this, I had to give reference to a line that I read long ago in my teenage years. (Your writer is an old lady hidden in this young body, don’t you see, Don’t you know it by now?) This above line translates to, or you could say an ode to the eternal yearn for a desire, to often assume that the other person is more happier than we are, that the life in some obscure land is full of glee that where we are right now. We like to believe our life is nothing comparing to the people we see on social media. We spend our whole life imagining of the happiness that lies on the other shore of the river, meanwhile the person sitting on the other side weeps to think about the happiness that resides on the other side.
No matter how strawberry colored one desires to show their world, one or in other way life succumbs us to catastrophes, and no human being is sheltered from it.
But why show the worst part of us?
Why let the world assume I am weak?
Today, we all are stuck to this confined existence, much to our bright horoscopes of ‘why 2020 will be your year'(Horoscopers, how’s the burn y’all?)
This lock down, in a way made us more close to us rather than any protest or debate on twitter, it subtly delivered us this one necessary life lesson that is despite this enormous success of us as humans, we are unquestionably fragile, and art is greater than war at times of grave crisis.
I am drinking rasna, watching mahabharat, and playing ludo.
Let me know in the comment section how you guys are spending your quarantine-ish life?
P.S=The hiatus ends for now.(I AM SERIOUS THIS TIME,I SWEAR!)