Imperfectly perfect-my journey to writing.

Illustration credit=Ahra kwon.

I gazed at the laptop screen for few mintues,then I thought well how bad a confession can be,writing has always been a way for me to reveal in words that I wouldn’t rather reveal in speeches.That’s what writers do,we are such smart folks(literally laughing on myself.)Now you must be wondering how perfect made me unhappy.Perfect is an amalgamation of words like any other words,it’s origin being Latin and old French.But this word has the enormous power to scatter lives,and invent a touchstone that is impossible to achieve,but often we found ourselves attached to that word.In response,we do everything to live up to that word’s unobtainable objectives.This makes us a person that we aren’t proud of.

My story of how I began to write and express my thoughts is unlike the tales you heard of how writers perceives that they love writing or how their childhood influences them to become a writer.I was never into writing,or the one who read a lot of books in their younger years.My infant years was filled with Sunday evening dance classes,Tuesday morning painting lessons and swinging the hips to the tune of the Bollywood songs and hair flippings in front of the mirror in a Marilyn Monroe style with missing teeths and a rabbit-ish smile.I dreaded books and preferred to maintain a safe distance from them,and if by any god’s grace I decided to read a book,after a few hours later,my mum would find me sleeping while clutching the book.Books was an anabelle for me cause during childhood I was hardly someone who would seat at one place and read a book for five hours(My future me would have been immensely proud of tiny neha if she ever did that,but she didn’t.My tiny me would be fainting if she saw the future neha.)

Now the interesting part,how I developed such an eternal bond with books.It commenced with my diary keeping habit which led me to confess my hopes,desires,dreams,hurts and every trifling thing I would not rather say it someone.It is much more solicitous to apprise to a person who would never judge you for saying these things that you would not know will ever see the light of the day.I had dreams of flying in the sky(A broom was the inspiration,what’s yours?),marry a boy-band member and have gorgeous hair by the time I reach 20 and be famous.Being a writer was not one of them,but now when I look back I was always a writer more than anything else.My first book that I picked in the teenage years was ‘I too had a love story’ by Ravinder Singh,I reckon my brother bringing it from ‘Book fair’ and I wailed and my eyes and nose was running small rivers by the time I finished reading it.Though I never picked up the book again and it somehow encouraged me to read.Cause mum is never going to scold me for reading too much.

My brother deserves the biggest credit,for he was the one that told me to go for it,this blog and was my first reader.It was his support for everything I did, was the backbone to my strength.Then one day I felt drifted from the thing I dearly loved and was waiting for that one perfect writing that would bedazzle me and my reader’s instantly.This is how ‘perfect’ fooled me,in my writing or in life I am always too picky.It’s good to be picky but when it comes to writing,you have to realize that you have to write,write and write,not giving thoughts to whether the writing is Pulitzer prize level or ‘I will not even read it again’ level.One particular word that I remember when I was returning home one day from the library,me and my friend was chatting in the auto and we were discussing about blogs and a fellow old passenger somehow came to know I write from our conversation and he gave me a piece of advice that stayed with me that ‘Don’t think before writing that what if it turns out to be bad,You have to write in order to make yourself happy.If the writing makes you feel something,then you have succeeded.’

I’ll be honest and say my faith in what I’m doing, and in my path through life, wavers far too often for my liking – but the universe is always sending me reassurance in the most unlikely of places,sometimes through a stranger-an avid book lover.

As my article came close to the cessation,I am no longer unhappy,it’s as if writing which I went away from,grown dis-attached to, pulled me closer through the words I wrote today.

I no longer have desire for being perfect.I would rather be hauntingly honest.

Like a writer.

Honest,raw and humane.

Imperfectly perfect.

28 Comments Add yours

  1. Perfectly honest, well-written post. All the best.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. neha98blog says:

      Thank you Denis for this lovely word of appreciation.Have a good day.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Josh says:

    Interesting read! And yes that’s how we should write, if the words makes us happy it’s going to make the reader happy too! Write naked, unedited and let the flow dominate your pen!! Looking forward to read them. happy blogging πŸ™‚

    Liked by 3 people

    1. neha98blog says:

      It’s only smiles that I have while reading your comment.Thank you Josh for reading!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Josh says:

        Btw I would be staring at the white paper with the pen in one hand, i write them on paper first then only i get it to the word doc, that’s my ritual, i need to connect the pen to paper to write. How about your writing process Neha ?

        Liked by 1 person

      2. neha98blog says:

        My writing process begins nowhere actually The scenery helps me a lot to bring out that creative juice in me and then I type it on laptop and present it to my reader’s josh.Glad go know your writing process,in many instances I’ve done the same.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Josh says:

        Thanks for sharing.

        Like

  3. Unni Babu says:

    A post brimming with joy and experience of being a writer. I can feel how proud you are and I can relate to your experiences. I am fortunate to meet you on WordPress who is more passionate about writing than me.
    Also you are kind enough to appreciate other young writers too and I admire that quality.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. neha98blog says:

      Thanks Unni for this thoughtful comment.Appreciate it.

      Like

  4. Umang says:

    Wow! I really felt that and isn’t what reading something good is? Beautiful Neha! I related on so many levels perfectionism, journal etc. Always love these thoughtful posts 😊

    Liked by 3 people

    1. neha98blog says:

      Umang,it’s more amazing to hear your response to this post.Your words always makes me smile.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. You are lucky to have such a supportive brother. Keep doing what you are so passionate about lovely. Xx

    Liked by 3 people

    1. neha98blog says:

      Thank you for this sweet remark.Yes,I am lucky to have him in my life.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. kalyansparks says:

    Give me your diary. I would like to read

    Liked by 2 people

  7. arv! says:

    Psychologists say that writing is good for you. This can manifest itself by way of a diary, book or a blog. It is a great stress buster! Isn’t it so, Neha?

    Liked by 3 people

    1. neha98blog says:

      Absolutely agree with your observation.Have a good day tomorrow Arv!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. arv! says:

        Thanks, Neha πŸ™‚

        Like

  8. alexraphael says:

    Honest, inspiring and well written.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. neha98blog says:

      Alex,how you have been?
      Thanks for the appreciation.

      Like

      1. alexraphael says:

        I’ve been well thanks. Though. A little busy. Have been behind on writing. Really enjoyed Toy Story 4.

        Like

  9. The courage to share is the therapy of a write that transcends with vulnerability and dares to be transparent, that even in that moment the reader is being counseled by you!!! you write with passion… may your faith in what you do, continue to push you forward… And thumbs up to your brother. take care!

    Liked by 3 people

    1. neha98blog says:

      Your comment made my day truly. Thank you for the appreciation.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. my pleasure…you are most welcome!!!

        Like

  10. This post touched my heart. We all have our little stories that made us writers and it’s something to be proud of. Amr mone hoy that writing is intrinsic to my existence, to my identity, to who I am and it gives me immense pleasure to just write. Amio same feel kori jokhn kono lekha bhalo hoena and I want to write the ‘perfect’ poem or think of a perfect plot. I even want or wanted to be perfect in everything I doπŸ™ But the last line summarised what it actually is. Now I think it’s okay to be imperfect πŸ˜ŠπŸŽ‰
    Onek bhalobasha tomake😊 Bhalo theko!

    Liked by 3 people

    1. neha98blog says:

      Every time I receive your comment, it makes me smile a little more. Thank you for the support you have given me bonu.Your words mean a lot.
      Have a good day ahead.

      Like

  11. da-AL says:

    I love how reading & writing transport us – & how blogging makes the world smaller ❀

    Liked by 2 people

  12. Thank you Neha, I can so relate, writing gives us a chance to dream as big as we want to. I posted for the first time on WordPress today and your blog was the first one I read . I am inspired.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. neha98blog says:

      Oh dearie this comment made my day,Thank you for your honest response.
      I am surely going to check out your blog and my best wishes for your blog,may you fly high my dear!

      Like

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