There are certain days which with every growing years condemn us with more dear memories.It has been nearly one month i have started going out with my boy,The one i came across in the library.It was not some kind of bollywood movie scene where the main protagonist’s hair floating in the air,they forgot where they are,the world around is illumined and they are lost in a land where inspite of being -40°c moving hips in a slight dress and the boy once again dancing with a saftety cardigan ofcourse.I was hoping that my first love should be diffirent than others,but it wasn’t.I promise we didn’t stare at each other for hours like Edward and Bella.In fact,I was indulged in his personality,After a decade later i found a person whom i could call my friend,a very precisely lovely companion.Our love story started in coffee shops to the crunch of the waffles,from the Eiffel tower to the art museums,picture gallaries,vintage shops.All was going well,since that unfateful day.I was going to pick him up from his work,I was so excited to give him a surprise as he was unaware of me coming.I neatly decorded my soul with a blue coloured maxi dress with white peonies printed on them.A small necklace i wore with unnumbered happy spirits hanging on my face and accompanied me through out my journey.There is always a problem when you have unruly frizzy hair which not want to bound in my head,always keep swinging up and down .After fighting with my straightner,Absoultely failing to do a decent makeup,I tied my hair in a bun,took up my bag and slide down in flats,Heels is not my best friends,as also flats,I can’t even walk in flats without stumbling here and there.I did a little tap dance on staircase while reaching the main to catch a taxi.I can’t contain my paitence to see him.
This christmas eve is going to be so signifiacnt with him.when i reach my destination,It was strange for him to not be in the front bar serving waffles.I inquired about him,they said he is inside.I put my feets one after another in silence,I was rewarded by the side of him in balcony.But to my conscience,He is not alone standing in the veranda.I place my hands on my chest, covering my vision with the flowers i brought along with me.A question that my inner consciousness threw at me like a dagger,Is it the person you have travelled miles to visit once again?Such a cunning laugh resonate at me.
He is kissing with full intensity and passion with no care for the outer world.
I didn’t thought it would happen to me.what did i do to deserve this?I whispered with my eyes closed and went out of the bar,I am trying so hard to not be a mess, but without my consent the water spheres soaked my cheek.As i slowly walking in the steerts of paris,i glance at the happy faces with cherry like blush perishing their beauty,couples enjoying the parsian air with finger mingled with each other.In the midst of this romance fleeting in the air, It’s like god punished me before the day of christmas to have my lonely soul wandering into this enormous city.
I went back to my apartment and gave away the flowers to a homeless lady as a small christmas greetings. I stepped outside my bed and folded my arms and as watching the glided snows falling so magnificently,I offered a prayer to the almighty.
“Please take me to another era,where love is true and my heart could heal”
Who knows what the christmass going to bring for me.
Maybe much worse than today
And i turn off the lamp.